maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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