well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
