Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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