Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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