do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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