My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
