I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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