Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
