It's like God shit irony all over that family
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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