I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
