recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
