hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
is wine microwaveable?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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