so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
