Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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