I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
