Tell her she can't have a vagina
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
