Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
