If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
operation have a gay friend backfired
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
