She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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