you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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