I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
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