I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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