dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
