So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
