I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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