Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
