the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
look no pants
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
