I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
