Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
should my penis look like a turkey
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
