I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
