Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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