I wannas sexs uuuuu
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
