It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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