they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
