She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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