i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I am naked and annoyed.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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