i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Drunk is a universal language darling
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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