why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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