After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
