C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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