am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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