I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
