i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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