Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
