Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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