this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
