Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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