your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Acid is not a monday night drug
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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