Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
