We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
