I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
