hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
