It's just like the Real World with babies
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
