ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
