honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Randomize
