When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
