My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
